How To Give a Good Back Massage Without Formal Training
Posted: Wednesday, May 11, 2005
by Spencer Carroll
Spencer Carroll
Since the back massage is such a keystone, paramount to the success of couples across the globe, I have compiled the layman’s guide to giving a great back massage.
The Set Up
Have your partner lay on their stomach someplace comfortable, with enough room around their body for you to be able to maneuver around. The best place is often times a bed or futon, anything large and comfy. Then, depending on how comfortable you two are together, either straddled their back or sit to one side.
The Warm Up
As with all things, you have to ease into a successful back massage. You should know ahead of time that the massage might take some time and as such, requires the proper amount of warm up period before the actual deeper massage begins.
The warm up is easy. Use both hands and apply gentle pressure with the tips of your fingers in slow circular motions, moving up and down the side of the spine. To the left and right of the spine are where the largest group of muscles and their attachments are located, the sides of the spine are also where you’ll usually find ‘knots’ in muscle which can be worked out later in the massage. Once you’re done warming up the spinal muscles, move to the shoulders. Again, using your finger tips in slow circles gently massage over the shoulder blades and up towards the neck.
The Massage
Now that her muscles are warm and loose, it’s time to start the massage. Splay your fingers out along her back and with the pads of your thumbs gently, but more firmly than in the warm up, begin rubbing circles up and down the sides of the spine. As the massage progresses you should feel confident to ask your partner how hard or tender they enjoy their massages. Remember, this massage is for your partner and so you should cater to their desires.
Again, once you’re done massaging the muscles along the spine work up towards the shoulder blades and knead the larger muscles that in between the spines of the shoulder blades and the backbone.
If you hit an area of muscle that feels especially tight, like a small “knot" in the muscle, very gently begin to rub circles around and on top of the small bundle of muscle using the pad of your thumb. Don’t press to hard or it will definitely hurt and ruin your chances at making a good first massage impression. Start gentle and work up to firmness that they're comfortable with.
Now, as in the warm up, use all four fingers to massage the muscles on either side of the spine in a kneading motion. Image waves coming up on a shore, that’s the motion that your hands should be making on their back. This action is more of muscle warm down and should only be done once you’ve thoroughly kneaded the muscles with your thumbs, which are far stronger than your fingers and will allow the massage to last much longer.
The Warm Down
The warm down is basically the warm up in reverse. Instead of increasing pressure as you go, decrease it, until you’re basically rubbing your partners back. This will soothe the recently kneaded muscles.
Basics to Remember
A good back massage should have proper pre and post massage attention if you truly want your partner to be impressed. Stylistically, start gently with your finger tips and then move to deeper, harder kneading with your thumbs. End the massage session with a gentle fingertip rub the muscles which should finally lead into a back rub to end the massage and place you on a pedestal in their eyes.
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More commentsthis article was amazing, she loved the way I massaged her back, thank you so much!
i think i've learned a lot. can't wait for thendo to come home so we can start practising
Can't wait to put this to use!
This is fantastic advice! Thanks so much! It's always nice to be able to add more things to a back massage.
I used this on a good friend of mine, and she LOVED it. We are now engaged!
That massage sounds heavenly......it's good for people to know that there are more ways to comfort the one you love besides sex........Thanks for the valuable tips- Always- Ella
There is nothing unique about this advice. Have you people no creativity? And a good Massage shouldn't always be about getting laid.
thank you very much, although this post is very old, it is still very helpful. my girlfriend has been very stressed out this week with her new job, her and i are spending the whole day at my house saturday, and i think it would be very nice to give her a back massage to help releive some of that stress :)
I was shocked about how much my, in this case, victims, hated this treatment. One even called me and asked what was done to her back because her muscles were hurting like crazy!! I do NOT recommend this massage treatment to anyone, especially someone who is going to perform this treatment to a customer who is not related or a close friend!!!!
Olivia, not trying to be rude, but you probably did it wrong. Most liely, you rubbed too hard on the knots or didn't properly warm the person's muscles up. Judging from the multiple responses before yours that were all positive feedback, you should have contemplated that it might have been something you did.I used it to my boyfriend he said it was amazing how I did it, he never got hurt he said I had such a wonderful hands that do magic on his back..
Loved this article it works really well. My partner loved it!!
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